New Photos

I think I officially "won" parenting last night. I should retire now and go out on top. 

Last night, out of the blue, Elizabeth asked me "Dad, why did the Emperor turn Anakin into Darth Vader?" 

New Pictures on the Flickr account. 

Things Kids Say

Is taste hereditary? Elizabeth makes the case that it may be:

"Sausage is good Daddy, very good, but what I really want is bacon."

Things Kids Say

5:30am: Terry and I were woken up by some door slamming, or maybe someone knocking on a door. I gave it another few seconds just to be sure I wasn't dreaming it and heard it again, this time a bit more frantic. I ran to the bathroom to discover that Elizabeth had locked herself in. I grabbed a Swiss Army knife off my desk and picked the lock, she greeted me with a far to jovial "HI DADDY!" I walked her back to bed and explained that it was still sleepy-time and that she needed to stay in bed.

5:45am: I heard some more commotion in the bathroom. Something again having to do with one of the doors. I went back in to see Elizabeth going through the linen closet.

"What are you doing Elizabeth?"
"I need lip gloss."
It's sleepytime, you do not need lip gloss for bed."
I need red lipgloss."
"If I give you red lip gloss will you stay in bed?"
"I'm a princess."
"Yes, you are."

Things Kids Say

Baseball practice was rained out this weekend so on Sunday morning we went to the Zoo instead. Elizabeth has been doing very well with the potty training so Superwife decided that she was ready to go on a field trip with no diaper. This was the first time (I can remember) she was outside running around in underpants.

As we got into the Zoo Linda and Elizabeth took off running down a hill at top speed.
Elizabeth (yelling excitedly): MAMA, MAMA, my booty is jiggling!

Reading Lessons

Last night was my turn to put Linda to sleep. It usually takes Elizabeth about an hour to fall asleep, so Linda and I can get trough quite a few books in that time. Last night, after three other books, we were just about to start a book called "Best Ever Flower Girl." I thought that rather than read it straight through like I did with the others, I'd ask Linda to help me sound out a few of the words. I pointed to the first word in the book and said "what does that say," she very curtly blurted out "DAISY."  Linda knows most of the books by heart, so I thought that might have been a bad word to start with.  I pointed to one in the middle of the page, thinking she'd have to work a little and sound it out, and said "what does this word say?" Again, she seemed rather annoyed by the whole exercise and said "PLAY." Then she looked at me, scrunched up her face, farted, and said "that says you read it Daddy."

Things Kids Say

Usually the verbal fastballs are slung by Linda, but last night during dinner it was Elizabeth's turn. I was sitting on the floor next to her trying to get her to eat dinner. She was doing well with some things but not others so I offered up a cucumber on the end of her fork:

NO. Princesses do not (pause), DO NOT eat cucumbers. They eat chicken and couscous but not cucumbers.

She also glared at me at the end. Good stuff from the little one.

Things Kids Say

It's been hard to keep up with these posts. Linda's 48 year old mind in a four year old's body is constantly churning out whoppers. Last night as we were putting Linda to bed she had to make one more trip to the toilet. Sorry about all the bathroom posts.

Linda: My hair is magic.
Steve: Oh Yeah?
L: Yeah, when I pull on it it makes the poop stuck in my butt come out easier. (Pulls hair, grunts, plop.) If you had longer hair, maybe it would be easier for you to poop.

Things Kids Say

Linda is usually the one who comes up with the zingers, but today it is Elizabeth's turn. Last night's bedtime didn't move all that smoothly. Elizabeth was a bit worked up because Terry was clipping her fingernails on the changing table. When the mood in the room started to turn south, I told Terry I would take over for her. When Terry and I made the switch, Elizabeth immediately pointed her finger inches from my nose and very sternly told me "I need you not to be angry at me."

I Look Like Daddy

I'm kind of relishing the last few months of being able to pick out Elizabeth's clothes without any resistance or input from her inner style sense. This morning, after a battle with Linda about why she couldn't wear the flower dress she wore on Sunday because it was not yet washed, nor the "light pink shorts to match this shirt" which do not exist, I dressed Elizabeth in some jean shorts and a pretty light blue t-shirt. She stood up on the changing table and grinned ear to ear as she ran her hands down her shirt over her chest and tummy. "I look ah Daddy", she squeaked through her smile. "You look like Daddy because you have on a blue shirt?" I asked. "Yeeahh! And belly!" she exclaimed with pride. "I love your little belly and Daddy's too", I replied, planting a kiss right on her bellybutton.

Linda Converts!

Well the pretty first communion dress may be the only thing keeping Linda in the Catholic church for the next few years. Yesterday, on our drive back from seeing Bonnie the Balloon Lady at the Fishtown Library, we passed our church. Stopped at the light at 12th street, Linda drops another "God bomb". Linda: "Is God in church right now?" My response: "Yes, god is always in church." L: "He's always in OUR church?" T (recognizing the Santa issues about to arise, I go vague): "You can find God in any church. He's not a regular person like you and me. You can talk to him when ever you want and he's all over the place helping people all the time." L: "So what are the priests there for?" Who swapped my 4-yr old out for Martin Luther in the car seat back there? Can't a mommy catch an existential break right before dinner? T: "The priests go to special school and are there to teach us about God and help make our communication with him more effective and meaningful" (btw my attempt to use big words to confuse&quiet/shock&awe has only lead to the girls using these words, both correctly and incorrectly, in public and general befuddlement of playground goers all over Philadelphia) L: "So they're like teachers?" T: "Yes. Do you want cheese on your hamburger tonight?"

Things Kids Say

It is times like this I'm happy to be a dad. Superwife just sent this to me.

Linda and I had an argument about who's best friend you were this morning. It went something like:
"Linda, what are you sulking about?"
"I just wish Daddy was home."
"Me too. Daddy is my best friend."
"Well Daddy is my bestest friend."
"Yes, he is sweetie. It's not actually a contest. We all love Daddy, and he loves all of us."
"He's my most bestest friend ever." (With defiance and a little bit of spite.)

Things Kids Say

I spent the weekend without shaving. When Monday came around I had a little bit of a growth so I decided to keep a goatee. When I arrived at Linda's school on Monday afternoon it was the first time that she saw it. Her teachers pointed out my new look and were joking about it. I asked Linda what she thought of my beard:

"I don't like it. You should have shaved it before anyone else woke up."

Things Kids Say

Sunday Morning while Linda was going to the bathroom after waking up:

Steve: Linda, hurry up and finish so we can wash your hands, go downstairs and have breakfast.
Linda: I just had breakfast, right out of my nose.

And yes, she was chewing on a booger.

Things Kids Say

Yesterday Linda and I went to the playground. She was playing happily on the swings when something caught her eye:

"Yook Daddy Yook! Somebody yeft a yellow ball on the yeeves. Why would somebody yeeve their ball on the yeeves?"

Things Kids Say

She gets smarter and smarter every day. You can see her little three year old brain working and trying to formulate her argument.

Linda: Daddy what are you making for dinoh?
Steve: I am making tuna burgers on the barbeque, couscous, and asparagus.
Linda: I don't want that. That's good for your tummy but not for my tummy.
Steve: (Suprised) Oh really? What would you like to have?
Linda: I want cheese and bread and maybe a piece of cake but I don't want to finish my cheese and bread. (She was shaking her index finger back and forth at me in a "tsk-tsk" kind of motion for the latter part of the sentence.)

Worry About Yourself

Steve: So Linda what did you eat for lunch today at school?
Linda: Don't worry about me, worry about yourself.

Linda Says:

"Daddy my legs are sweating, so is my head, and my bum. You need to put on the air condississor."

Horseradish

Linda and I were enjoying our dinner of grilled smoked sausage, potatoes, and broccoli last night when she served up another verbal home run. Our plates were identical except for the dollop of beet flavored horseradish on my plate. Linda was very curious about why I had some purple food and she didn't. I put a little on on my fork and offered some up for her to smell. She took one big whiff, scowled and said "that does NOT taste delicious."

Spoiled

You know your kids are spoiled (not by me) when you get comments like the one below. This morning, as I was strapping Linda into her car seat, she asked me to hand her a toy. I reached over and grabbed Baby Hudson from the seat between the girls. As I brought it up, Elizabeth reached out (as far a she could get while all strapped in) and kind of snagged the doll's hand. Linda quickly snatched the doll from me (she's gotten increasingly protective of her baby dolls as Elizabeth has taken a real fascination with them) and said, very sincerely,

"This is my baby, Elizabeth. Don't worry, your grandmothers and grandfathers, like Grammy and Papa, will get you lots of baby dolls too."

Of course they will, because that's how you get baby dolls, right??!! Who needs to share? Well Elizabeth seemed pacified by the comment (for now).

"I'm a one man show."

Linda debuted this gem last week: "I'm a one man show." Where does she get this stuff? There's a scene in one of her movies, Cars, where the main character tells his pit crew that he's a one man show. I'm assuming that's where it came from. Lately it's all she's saying. When you ask her to do something every now and again the answer is "No. I'm a one man show." Yesterday she even told me that she let all her school friends know that she's a one man show.